“Real” definitions of some stock market terms

So you aced the Stock Market Vocabulary Quiz, huh? But do you know what the following stock market terms really mean?

Read on to see Ron Nathan of Philippine Daily Inquirer's Mr. BearBull column put a different spin on these stock market-related vocabularies. 

Warning: Brain processing not required. Laugh when the need arises.

Stock Market Terms 

Market correction : The day after you buy stocks

Momentum investing : Buying high and selling low

Value investing : Buying low and selling lower

Cash flow : The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet

P/E ratio : The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market crashes

Bull market : A random movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius

Bear market : A six- to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex

Standard and Poor : Your life in a nutshell

Stock split : When your ex-wife and lawyer split all your assets between them