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mikoangelo · 255 · 73127

mikoangelo

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Pinoy Dictionary 2012

TO WAITER
-Isang uri ng social network site na pwede kang magfollow at mag-to wait.

SURVEY TEST
-Yung tagalog ng ICE CREAM.

TIMELINE
-Malungkot o walang sigla.. "Bakit ang TIMELINE mo?"

I SCREAM
-eto yung tinatawag nilang sorbetes.

FOLLOWED
-Ang sasabihin mo sa tindera ng load.

FEARFUL
-ung isa pang tawag sa color violet.

KOREAN TEA
-Yan yung nawawala pag nag- brown out.

A TRUST
-yung lalakad ng pabalik at kabaliktaran ng abante.

MAKE DOUGH
-Kalaban ng Jollibee.

LAUGH IS
-Yan yung ginagamit pang sulat.

TWO WHILE YEAH
-Yung ginagamit after maligo.

SICK RATE
-Mga bagay na hindi mo maaring sabihin sa iba.

SI BEN 11
-yung convenience store kung san ka bumibili ng slurpee.

SHE FEEL YOU
-Yan yung gamit mo pangtotoothbrush.

PERSUADING
-Ito yung unang kasal.

VAIN TEA
-Yan ang presyo ng Cornetto.

GRABE TEH!
-Is the force that causes two particles to pull towards each other.

LOW FEET
-Sinasabi kapag nakakita ng astig na pangyayari o bagay. Ang Low Feet!

DEDUCT
-Ang Pato.

CHECK IN
-Kadalasang ginagawang adobo at afritada. English term ng Manok.

DUE CARE
-Kalaban ni Batman.

SHE KISS
-Dyan makakabili ng pizza. Kalaban ng Pizza Hut.

DEPRESS
-Yan yung English term ng "Ang Pari".

HAVE A
-Yan yung sinasabi kapag maganda at benta yung joke.

MALICIOUS
-Yung mali yung nasuot mong sapatos.

MY DOLL
-Yan yung tinatanggap ng mga matatalinong mag-aaral.

THE VALUE
-Yung susunod sa letrang "V".

CALL THERE OH!
-Yung gamit sa pagluluto ng kanin.

LOVE BEEN THERE
-Favorite color ko. Light color ng violet

STD
-Yung hindi ka gagalaw.STD lang

FAUCET
-Isang uri ng lamang dagat na may galamay.

IN SEX
-Example nito ay ants, bees, bugs etc

SHE CAN
-English term ng manok.

CITY
-Ito ay bago mag-Otsu. City.

A LIE
-Sinasabi ng mga Chinese kapag nasasaktan.

LOVING A NAME
-Yan yung kasunod sa Labinlima.

TO WAIT
-tunog na nililikha ng ibon. To wait, to wait.

INNER ROW
-Yan yung kasunod ng Pebrerow, Marsow, Abril, Mayow.

THE EGG
-Kapag mag magaling siya sa iyo. The Egg ka niya.

CONTEMPLATE
-Kapag hindi ganun karami ang mga plato sa kusina niyo. Contemplate.

COCONUT
-Yan ang mangyayari sa chicharong nakabukas ng matagal.

EFFORT
-Dito lumalapag ang airplane.

COPY PASTE BOOK

-Kapag sobra ka sa pagpeFACEBOOK, sasabihin sayo ng nanay mo "Itigil mo na nga yang Copy Paste Book Mo!"
« Last Edit: Jan 28, 2013, 10:36 AM by FutureGizmo »


kithe

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Reply #1 on: Oct 21, 2012, 08:14 PM
hehe, nakaka TWO WOAH..  :yehey:  :b_jump: :rofl:


mikoangelo

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Reply #2 on: Oct 22, 2012, 06:44 PM
I was having trouble with my computer and I called David, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.

David clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID Ten T error?

What's that? In case I need to fix it again."

David grinned, "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No", I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

I used to like that little boy.

---

Isang araw, nag-uusap yung dalawang mag-kaibigan, siJoey at si Mark.

Joey: Alam mo, Mark, talagang napaka-bobo ng boy naming si Pedro.

Mark: Wala iyan! Sinisiguro ko sa iyo, mas bobo yungboy naming si Jose.

Nag-talo silang dalawa....

Joey: O sige, patutunayan ko sa iyo a. Watch this!

PEDRO, 'ALIKA RITO!

Pedro: Yes sir! What can I do to you?

Joey: Eto piso, bumili ka ng apat na case ng beer.

Pedro: Yes koya! Coming up!

Joey: O Mark, bilib ka na ba sa kabobohan niyan,piso--bibila siya ng apat na case ng beer.

Mark: Wala pa rin iyan kay Jose, ikaw naman angmanood....JOSE, 'ALIKA RITO SANDALI!

Jose: Yes Sir! Ano po iyon!?

Mark: Pumunta ka sa opisina ko, tignan mo kung nandoon ako....

Jose: Yes Sir! Pupunta na po ako!

Mark: O Joey, kita mo naman na mas bobo pa iyan kaysa kay Pedro....

Later, nag salubong yung dalawang boy.....

Pedro: Jose, alam mo ang bobo talaga ng amo kong si Sir Joey....

Jose: Wala iyan....mas bobo si koya Mark ko.

Pedro: Hinde! Mas bobo si Sir Joey, isipin mo, binigyan ako ng piso para bumili ako ng APAT na caseng beer......e, alam naman niyang HINDI KO KAYA

BUHATIN IYON NANG MAG-ISA!!!!!!!

Jose: Mas bobo naman si koya Mark noh! Pinapupunta pa ako sa opisina niya para tignan kung nadoon siye....e, MAY TELEPONO NAMAN!

---

BiTTERNESS

is supposed to be a sense of taste, not a sense of feeling.

kaya pag sinabihan kang BiTTER,

sabihin mo:

“Bakit natikman mo na ba ko?”

---

MMDA (with pen & ticket) to a traffic violator:

MMDA: Name?

Foreign Driver: Wilhelm Von Corgrinzksy Pavacovitz.

MMDA: Ahhh. Next time be careful ha?

---

Pag tinanong ng guy kung chocolate or flowers...

Sagutin mo ng bigas nalang... :hihi:


mikoangelo

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Reply #3 on: Oct 24, 2012, 07:54 PM
“Aruuuuuu! Dugo-dugo Gang Ka No?!”

VERSION 1:

SIR: Inday, si sir mo ‘toh.Nabangga kotse ko. I need cash!

INDAY: Aru! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh?

SIR: Gagah! Si sir mo talaga ‘toh!

INDAY: Aru! E sino yung nakapatong kay m’am? 

VERSION 2:

SIR: Inday, si sir mo ‘toh.Nabangga kotse ko. I need cash!

INDAY: Aru! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh?

SIR: Gagah! Si sir mo talaga ‘toh!

INDAY: G%&*$! Nakapatong sa akin si sir noh! 

VERSION 3:

SIR: Inday, si sir mo ‘toh. Nabangga kotse ko. I need cash!

INDAY Aru! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh?

SIR: Gagah! Si sir mo talaga ‘toh!

INDAY: Kung si sir ka, anong kulay ng panty ko kagabi?

SIR: Pula

INDAY : Aru di ka si Sir, wala naman akong panty kagabi….

VERSION 4:

SIR: Inday, si sir mo ‘toh. Nabangga kotse ko. I need cash!

INDAY: Aru! Dugo-dugo gang ka noh? Bat wala kang number?

SIR: Gagah extension gamit ko.Punta ka dito sa kwarto hubad na ko!

VERSION 5:

SIR: Inday, si sir mo ‘toh.Nabangga kotse ko. I need cash!

INDAY: Aru! Dugo-dugo gang kanoh?

SIR: Gagah! Si sir mo talaga ‘toh!

INDAY: Hindi ikaw si sir, ang tawag sa akin ni sir ay “CUPCAKE”!

VERSION 6:

MAM: Inday, si mam mo ‘toh.Nabangga kotse ko. I need cash!

INDAY: Aru! Aru! Dugo-dugo gangka noh?

MAM: Gagah! Si mam mo talaga‘toh! Teka, bat aru ka nang aru?

INDAY: Kasi si sir kinakagat (.)(.)  ko!



kithe

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Reply #4 on: Oct 24, 2012, 09:43 PM
Where's My Husbands Clock?

One day, many years after the Clinton scandal, Hillary is struck by a
car and killed. Soon, Hillary finds herself at the gates of Heaven.
She sees St. Peter and asks "Can I get into heaven now?"
He says "Soon, I have some things to take care of."
So St. Peter leaves and Hillary looks at the scenery and sees millions
of clocks lying around. Every once in a while, a clock or so would
turn ahead 15 minutes. Hillary wondered why. Soon, St. Peter came back
and Hillary asked "St. Peter, What are all these clocks for?"
St Peter replies "Each clock represents a man. Every time a man
commits adultry, the clock turns ahead 15 minutes.
Hillary asks "Where's my husbands clock?" St. Peter replies "Oh, it's
in God's office, he uses it for a fan."   :D


Post Merge: Oct 24, 2012, 09:50 PM
"You Are My First"

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the
crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground, when he finally
gets himself to the doctor.
He says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and
my fiancée is still a virgin in every way."
The doc said , "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal
and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."
So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided
bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his
honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal
a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them.
She says, "You are my FIRST, no one has ever touched these breasts."
He whips down his pants and says... " Look at this, it's still in the
CRATE!"   :D


Post Merge: Oct 24, 2012, 09:58 PM
"Will You Watch?"

An elderly couple went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked, "What
can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor looked puzzled but agreed. When the couple had finished,
the doctor said, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have
intercourse." And he charged them $20.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an
appointment, have intercourse, pay the doctor, and leave. Finally the
doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She is
married and we can't go to her house. I am married and we can't go to
my house. Holiday Inn charges $32. The Hilton charges $37. We do it
here for $20 and I get $18 back from Medicare for a visit to the
doctor's office."   :D  :D



Post Merge: Oct 24, 2012, 10:12 PM
"Viagra Coffee"

This elderly lady went to the doctor for a checkup. Everything checked
out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said,
"Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now, and I was wondering how I
can increase my husband's sex drive."
The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"
The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when
he has a headache," she claimed.
"Well," the doctor continued, "let me suggest something. Crush the
Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the
coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."
The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.
Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor
asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.
"How did it go?" the doctor asked.
"Terribly, doctor, terribly."
"Did it not work?"
"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up
and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love
on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."
"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"
"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."  :D :D :D
« Last Edit: Oct 24, 2012, 10:12 PM by kithe »


Prospera

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Reply #5 on: Oct 25, 2012, 09:03 AM
^Uy, kithe is starting to show hints of her "wild side," I notice... :D


mikoangelo

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Reply #6 on: Oct 25, 2012, 11:32 AM
honga...lumalabas na kalandian niya  :laugh:      :harhar:

---

PiNOY HENYO.
.
.
Q: Masarap ba to?
A: OO!
.
.
Q: kinakaen?
A: PWEDE!
.
.
Q: Tumitigas?
A: OO!
.
.
Q: lumalambot?
A: OO!
.
.
Q: malake?
A: PWEDE!
.
.
Q: Kulay brown?
A: PWEDE! PWEDE!
.
.
Q: Gusto ng mga babae iregalo sa
kanila ng mga boys?
A: OO! OO!
.
.
Q: Nag-uumpisa sa letter T?
A: OO!
.
.
Q: Dalawa ba letter T nito?
A: OO!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
SAGOT:TSOKOLATE :)

---

UY KAME NA!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sabi ng ngo ngo na nakapulot ng camera.

---


Prospera

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Reply #7 on: Oct 25, 2012, 12:05 PM
^Buhay pa pala 'yang ngongo na 'yan, miko, lol!


kithe

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Reply #8 on: Oct 26, 2012, 12:32 AM
^Uy, kithe is starting to show hints of her "wild side," I notice... :D

 :hihi: di naman masyado ms. prosper.  :hihi:

-----

"Two cannibals"

Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to
go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the
jungle and waited by a path.
Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Oh
dad, there's one."
"No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to
even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."
Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The
son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough."
"No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the
fat in that one. We'll just wait."
About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous
woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that
one dad. Let's eat her."
"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."
"Why not?" asked the son.
"Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your
mother."   :D



mikoangelo

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Reply #9 on: Oct 26, 2012, 02:15 PM
Anak: Inay Ano Po ang Girlfriend?

Nanay: Pag Lumaki ka na, At Mabait ka, Magkakaroon ka ng isa

Anak: Paano kung Hindi Ako Mabait?

Nanay: Magkakaroon ka ng madami.

--
Nanay: Anak, pag naghiwalay kami ng Tatay mo, kanino ka  sasama?
.
.
.

.
.
Anak: Sa boyfriend ko po, nay!

--
Umuwing lasing si Mister, may dalang manok.

MR: Ito yong baboy na madalas kong kasiping, hik!

MRS: Tanga! Di yan baboy. Manok yan!

MR: Gaga! Itong manok kausap ko!

--
Teacher: Ok class, tapos na ang quiz natin, dismiss!

Student: Sir! Sir! na late po ako baka pwdeng mag re- quiz?

Teacher: Ok sige, ano'ng song?

--

Sa Jollibee.
juan: (taong-bundok) Pabili ng honey!

CASHIER: Sir wala po kaming tindang honey!

juan: Puro lang pala kayo  Yabang! Laki pa ng bubuyog nyo sa labas.


kithe

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Reply #10 on: Oct 26, 2012, 03:07 PM

Umuwing lasing si Mister, may dalang manok.

MR: Ito yong baboy na madalas kong kasiping, hik!

MRS: Tanga! Di yan baboy. Manok yan!

MR: Gaga! Itong manok kausap ko!

Hehe, baboy na naman.. Kawawa naman mga baboy.. Pero sikat sila dito sa pmt.  :hihi:


moishi

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Reply #11 on: Nov 01, 2012, 01:45 PM

Guro: Juan, late kana naman......
Juan: Late po kasi relo ko.
Guro: Problema ba yun. Eh di i-advance mo.
Juan: Sige po.
Guro: Oh, saan ka pupunta?
Juan: uwian na po!

....( kap )..

- anonymous


kithe

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Reply #12 on: Nov 03, 2012, 07:35 PM
$1 MILLION IN HEAVEN

Joe asked God, "How much is a penny worth in Heaven?"

God replied, "$1 million."

Joe asked, "How long is a minute in Heaven?"

God said, "1 million years."

Joe asked for a penny.

God said, "Sure, in a minute."

 :hihi:



vicces

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Reply #13 on: Nov 04, 2012, 06:51 PM
Boy 1: Pre sobrang napahiya ako kagabi.

Boy 2: Ha bakit, di ba kasama mo syota mo kagabi?

Boy 1: Yun nga. Game na game pa nga sya, pinauna ako sa kwarto nya tapos pagpasok nya pinatay nya kagad ang ilaw... kaso inabot ako ng 15 minutes sa pagtanggal ng bra niya. Bad trip talaga!!!

Boy 2: O natanggal mo pala ang bra, e di naka-iskor ka pa rin!

Boy 1: Gago hindi nga. sinukat ko kasi yung bra nya na nakakalat, lintek ang hirap pala alisin ang hook sa likod nun lalo na pag madilim... (*)=(*)

Chos!!! :hihi:
« Last Edit: Nov 04, 2012, 06:58 PM by vicces »


mikoangelo

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Reply #14 on: Nov 05, 2012, 08:53 PM
Anak: Tay, ilan "r" ng correspondent?? isa o dalawa???

Tatay: Tatluhin mo na para sure!!!

---

A mother asked her daughter about her sex life. the daughter only answer. "Cebu Pacific"
On the way home, the mother saw the billboard and was shocked!!!

"Cebu Pacific 7 days a week, twice daily and both ways!!!"

---

as proposed by law sex will now be taxed.

1. upon penetration(VAT Vaginal Access Tax)

2. more that 10 minutes inside(burial Tax)

3. Upon withdrawal(exit tax)

4. Those who do not have sex life(idle asset tax)

5. those who practice withdrawal method of birth control(withholding tax)

6. Entering other than wife(road users tax)

Kung matutuloy ito, sa iyo pa lang makakaahon na ang Pilipinas sa lahat ng utang.. Mabuhay ka!!!

---

NAK: tay buntis ako

TATAY: anak ng p*ta oh. sinong ama?

ANAK: hindi ko alam

TATAY: paano mo naman hindi malalaman?

ANAK: tay, ganito lang yun. kung kumain ka ng sampung kamote, malalaman mo ba alin dun yung nagpa-utot sayo?




 


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    Mar 17, 2019, 03:19 PM
  • jayrob: Mark_Lee ung organico legit po yan..  Member din AQ..
    Mar 17, 2019, 12:57 AM
  • perlymelad: Hello po! Need advice, why my new MLM leaders failing?
    Mar 14, 2019, 08:51 PM
  • perlymelad: Present
    Mar 12, 2019, 07:53 PM
  • kennethmauricio: Hi saan po dito pwede mag post ng for sale properties?
    Mar 11, 2019, 07:58 PM
  • jefsanity: @mark_lee isipin mo anu passion mo at skills mo...
    Mar 11, 2019, 06:52 PM
  • sniperaj09: BAGO LANG
    Mar 10, 2019, 11:16 AM
  • mark_Lee: magandang investnent ngayon sa 30k suggest naman keo mga boss
    Mar 10, 2019, 03:07 AM