Best, funny jokes about the financial crisis
October 15, 2008
The best way to deal with problems, they say, is to laugh at them.
So while big global banks are collapsing and stock markets are losing 30-40% of their value, it might be time right now to sit back for a while and forget about losses in stocks and mutual funds. Here are a few jokes to help you laugh at all the financial mess happening in markets worldwide.
Funny jokes on the recent financial crisis
- Joke #1: Japan Banks
Following the problems in the subprime lending market in America, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 days, Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while shares in Kamikaze Bank today were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
- Joke #2: Insufficient Funds
I had a cheque returned by my bank earlier. “Insufficient Funds,” it said. My funds or the bank’s?
- Joke #3: Money Talks
Money talks. Trouble is, mine only knows one word — Goodbye.
- Joke #4: Nigerian Scam
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to firstname.lastname@example.org so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Minister of Treasury Henry M. Paulson
- Joke #5: Henry Paulson Jogging
US Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson was out jogging in Central Park, New York. All of a sudden a man with a ski mask jumped out from behind some bushes with a gun.
The masked man said, “Give me all your money!”
Unwilling to do so, Paulson said, “You can’t do this, I’m the Treasury Secretary!”
The man then replied, “In that case, give me MY money!”
- Joke #6: Lehman Brothers and George Bush
US President George Bush: I am saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman Brothers. My thoughts go out to their mother as losing one son is hard but losing two is no doubt a tragedy.
- Joke #7: Mergers and Consolidations
Because of the ongoing market turmoil, several companies are merging in order to survive. Some results of these mergers:
* Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become –> Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace
* 3M and Goodyear will merge and become –> MMMGood
* FedEx is expected to join its competitor UPS to become –> FedUP
* Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become –> Fairwell Honeychild
* Victoria ‘s Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge and will call themselves: TittyTittyBangBang
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